4th
The Void
Dear Metal Gods,
I’m looking for insight into a phenomenon found in young males between the ages of 14 or so to at least 30 (I’m sure it stretches beyond that but I can’t personally claim any first hand knowledge). I refer to this phenomenon as “disappearing into the Void”. Where do they go, when you have dinner plans and they fail to show up and then don’t answer your calls or text messages for a year? And then they suddenly reach out and act as if no time has passed at all? What are they thinking?
Occasionally, when I receive a message from the Void, I try and lure said male back to reality by promising all sorts of delightful things, and the vast majority of the time even the most tempting offers don’t seem to have any effect.
When they are ready they emerge from the Void, and frequently have no concept of how much time has lapsed (“Its been a year since we last hung out? No, that can’t be right….”). What are they doing there, and what is so alluring that all my offers of fun and pleasure can’t induce them out of it? Do they really not understand how long its been, or are they merely saying that in an attempt to get out of trouble?
It is a mystery to me, but it is a mystery I have begun to accept as a reality— if only I could understand what was going on there a little better. Maybe then I could approach the Void with more understanding and less rage?
please help.
Still On Planet Earth
Dear Still on Planet Earth,
It is clear to the Metal Gods that you have thought and thought and thought and discussed and thought and thought and considered and thought and thought and extrapolated and thought and thought and thought about this problem for far too long. You have dissected it down to it’s cellular level. Yet, clarity still alludes you?
The problem here is that you’re personal mix of neuroses and intelligence are leading you further from the truth instead of closer to it.
But fear not, the Metal Gods have taken pity upon you and have decided to tell you the simple truth about the Void.
Here it is, not to be fretted over, not to be discussed, and definitely not to be thought and thought and thought about.
OK….Deep breath….Here we go:
Some dudes are super flaky and unaware that their actions have any impact on anyone outside the realm of their own ego or immediate self interest.
No, No, No stop it!…Stop that crushing wave of thinking that is about to consume you! The Metal Gods can hear your mental gears grinding and see the smoke coming out of your ears from here.
Once again here it is: Some dudes are super flaky and unaware that their actions have any impact on anyone outside the realm of their own ego or immediate self interest.
You see it’s not that they dislike you, want to hurt you, or that you have do anything wrong it’s just that:
Some dudes are super flaky and unaware that their actions have any impact on anyone outside the realm of their own ego or immediate self interest.
It is simple, don’t make it complex, the Void doesn’t hate you, it’s just too self-involved to know you’re there.
In order to help sooth the choppy seas of your mental anguish The Metal Gods suggest you repeat the following sage Daily Affirmation first uttered by Metal Gods Ratt in their song “I’m Insane”:
“I’m heading for lobotomy, and I’m begging them for more”
WWMGD
