7th
Dominated
Dear Metal Gods,
I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years now. At the start of the relationship he helped with the housework and was always kind and understanding. Over the last
couple of years he has become more and more dominating. Last night when we had a dinner party for his friend from out of town. I asked for his help in the kitchen and, in front of his friend, he said ‘No, why should I?’ Of course I was not in a position to argue, all I can do is ask for your help.
Dominated.
Dear Dominated,
Problem #1: “I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years now”.
Two Words: Lose—-er! He’s in or he’s out. The Metal Gods have no time for
fence sitters.
Problem #2: “I asked for his help in the kitchen and, in front of his friend, he said, ‘No, why should I?’
Two Words: Lose—er! That’s like a 4’9” steroid-popping body builder who drives a Hummer around the suburbs and picks fights at stoplights.
Problem #3: “Of course I was not in a position to argue”.
Wrong,wrong,wrong. You decide whether or not you’re in a position to argue, not him.
In that moment, the Metal Gods would have suggested you start a raging fire in the kitchen, slip out the back door and just drive off into the night. But seeing as that opportunity has unfortunately passed we’ll go to plan B. Immediately begin your psychological operations against him. Start by doing less and less for him each day. Then begin hiding one possession of his every few days. Also, stop telling him where you’re going, who you’ll be with, or when you’ll be back. And never, ever tell him who’s texting or calling you. His under-evolved brain will make up all the paranoid delusions you’ll need to destroy his confidence and leave him groveling back to you like the dog is.
Remember, in the words of the mighty Metal Gods Iron Maiden from their song “The Number of the Beast”:
“I have the power to make my evil take its course.”
What Would A Metal God Do?
