10th
Metal Traitor
Dear Metal Traitor,
Your answer to “Worth Fighting For” was a bogus misuse of your metal powers. You exposed one of our metal brothers to his not so smart girlfriend. Our tactics in maintaining unhealthy relationships must stay among us. How are we supposed to play with woman’s minds and get them to pay our rent and continue to sleep with us (even when we don’t have jobs) if you continue to give advice like this? Very un-metal of you (more Counting Crows actually). BEWARE! Like all Gods we can decide to not worship you.
In the words of Judas Priest from the song Electric Eye
“Up here in space, I’m looking down on you, my lasers trace everything you do!”
Sincerely,
Real Metal Dude
Dear “Poser”,
HOW DARE YOU THREATEN THE METAL GODS?! Have you lost your secretly George Michael loving mind?!! Do you really believe it wise to threaten the all-powerful Metal Gods?!! The very Gods that provide you with the only small sliver of joy you experience in that filthy mess of an existence you call a life? Your stupidity truly knows no bounds.
Furthermore your “tricks for dumb chicks” disgust us. You are a life form existing somewhere between the maggot and the cast of The Hills (the maggot being the more evolved of the two).
You are hereby ex-communicated by the Metal Gods! From this moment forth the Metal Gods shall no longer help, guide, or have mercy upon you. Furthermore, the Metal Gods now release a never-ending plague of havoc, despair and pain upon your life.
In the words of the Metal Gods Slayer from the song “Show No Mercy”:
“You pray your god will help, his strength no match for mine,
Your last hope slips away, thy soul begins to bleed,
I tear your flesh to shreds, burn holes throughout your mind.”
What Would A Metal God Do?
