30th
Cross-Eyed
Dear Metal Gods:
I am confused. Why are boys so stupid? They send mixed signals such as: Taking me out to fancy expensive dinners and then seeming disinterested in making out. Finding excuses to hang with me but then inviting other people along at the last minute. Saying sexually suggestive things and following that up with a reluctant “ok” to driving me home.
What is this? My friends suggest maybe he’s just clueless but it’s hard for me to believe even a boy could be that stupid. What do I do, metal gods? Me and a million other young women need to know.
love,
cross-eyed (Cross-eyed on behalf of a generation of baffled, angry, ladies)
Dear Cross-Eyed,
The Metal Gods can solve your dilemma in two simple steps:
Step #1:Stop dating boys who are gay, they are NOT interested in what you have in your pants.
Step #2: Repeat Step #1.
In the Words of the Metal Gods Judas Priest from their song “Eat Me Alive”
“I’m gonna force you at gun point to eat me alive”
WWMGD
